If I Cared

We sat there on the steps of my front porch
Before I started my new life and lost my mind
I talked about how great it would be to be gone
And all the things I was leaving home to find

Everything I remember, I'd probably forget
All the crazy things I've done, I'd probably regret
Every time I'd stop to think about it, I'd probably be ashamed
Every time I blacked it out, I'm sure I felt the same
All those times I got drunk, woke up alone, and scared
Thats what my life would feel like if I cared

She sat and listened to the dreams of a fool
And like a fool herself she believed me too
I told her about the things I believed
Where I was headed and what I would see
She sat there in awe of a man with a dream
And she knew me well enough to believe
That I was the kind of man that could do it all
If I could manage not to fall
Flat on my face between here and curtain call

loose my dreams, Loose my life
Loose my hope, loose my wife
Take a hit, take a fall
Loose my mind, loose it all
to alcohol

If I could even care about
The people that fade in and out
Of the blurry memories in my mind
Maybe I could sort it out
Clear away the fear and doubt
And maybe not be scared of what I find
These days There's fear and pain
The kind of hurt that makes you change
And for once I feel like I'm tryin'
I can't stay here where it's the same
I have to get it all out of my brain
Right now so I don't feel like I'm dying


I found out too late what she never said
All the times she thought I'd wake up dead
When her curfew made her leave me behind
She would pray to god and drive
Back home where she lived her own lie
Away from me and being thoughts that I'd die
The next day, ya know, she would always call me
If her love hope and faith could save me
Just one more day I could spend alone
Doing my best to make myself gone